


I Want To Mend

by LegalGraffiti



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what I'm doing, I have never written a multi-chaptie before, Post-Series, Post-War, catra has amnesia, they yearn, they're gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27997401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegalGraffiti/pseuds/LegalGraffiti
Summary: "I-I don't remember anything," she says. The woman gives her a weak smile."It's alright, Catra. You hurt yourself really badly-" Catra pushes herself even further away, and winces when the woman tries to touch her."Stop- I mean I don't rememberanything." Her face falls immediately."No. No, that- that can't be-" She grabs Catra by the shoulders, and pins her down with the wild desperation in her eyes. "You know who I am, right? Catra?" Catra feels so small right now."I'm really sorry," she says quietly. "What's your name?"
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 143





	I Want To Mend

Catra gasps the first breath of her life. Pain lingers in her body, half-real and half-remembered. There was nothing before now. And now she is suddenly aware of herself- and she doesn’t know who that is. If she could cry from the confusion and helplessness, she would, but her throat scratches and the sound breaks like a broken record. A stranger's tears fall onto her shoulder. Catra wants to _scream_.

“Thank goodness,” the woman cries, holding her close. “Thank goodness you’re alright.” Her arms press against Catra's back. Her embrace is electric- it stuns her.

The woman lifts her head up to look over Catra again. She's all beautiful blonde hair, enchanting blue eyes. Her face is blotchy from crying. She cups Catra's face gently, and her thumb brushes over her cheek. The panic fades for only a moment.

"Catra," she murmurs, "Please never do that again." The confusion stays with her. Catra coughs and sputters before she can manage any words.

"What did I do?" she asks. The woman shakes her head, like it would kill her to answer.

Then she kisses Catra gently. Catra freezes beneath her, and she pulls away fast.

"Catra, what's wrong?" Catra's hands shake. The woman gives her a concerned look and tries to interlock their fingers, but Catra shuns her touch. She pushes herself up from where she laid limp in her arms, and moves away.

"I-I don't remember anything," she says. The woman gives her a weak smile.

"It's alright, Catra. You hurt yourself really badly-" Catra pushes herself even further away, and winces when the woman tries to touch her.

"Stop- I mean I don't remember _anything_." Her face falls immediately.

"No. No, that- that can't be-" She grabs Catra by the shoulders, and pins her down with the wild desperation in her eyes. "You know who I am, right? _Catra_?" Catra feels so small right now.

"I'm sorry. I don't know you." There was nothing before this moment, and this stranger who is clinging to her.

"I found you when we were kids, we grew up together-" Catra's eyes widen and she frantically shakes her head, but the woman keeps going- "You were hurt by all the things that happened to us when we were younger, a-and you made some bad decisions, but then I rescued you when you were controlled by Horde Prime, you fought against him with me, and you were with me at the end of the world," Tears well in her eyes. "We saved the universe, and we've been traveling together for a year, and you told me you loved me, you promised me a life with you, and _I love you_ -" She stops to breathe. Her grip on Catra falters. Catra's head is spinning from everything she just said. Her mind might just break. She can't possibly fathom all that.

"I'm really sorry," Catra says quietly. "What's your name?"

Adora weeps.

* * *

Adora carried her back to the ship, despite Catra's insistence that she could walk. She knows her own powers- Catra is probably exhausted from being broken apart and then put back together again, if not still in pain. But more than that, Adora refuses to let go of her.

Catra learned her name.

 _Adora_. A single word for a whole universe. Catra watches Adora pace back and forth in the room they're staying in, her blonde hair bouncing against her shoulders. Catra lays on the bed they share and puzzles herself over the things Adora had told her when she woke up. She's physically exhausted, but sleep doesn't come easy.

Adora cared for her, obviously. Logically, there was nothing to worry about. But seeing her panic like this made Catra just as uneasy.

"I can fix this. I'm _She-Ra_ ," she rambles. She stops suddenly. "Maybe I did it wrong?"

"She-Ra?" Catra echoes. Adora's gaze snaps to her, then melts into concern. She approaches her- slowly this time. Catra sits up a little. Without thinking, Adora cups Catra's face with her hand, and brushes her thumb over her cheek. Catra pities her enough that she doesn't stop her.

"How are you feeling?" Adora says it so soft, like she's worried she'll scare her off. Catra shrugs in response.

"Like shit." Adora gives her an odd look. Catra shrinks away when she stares too long. Adora shakes her head, then sits next to her.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. The room goes quiet. When her hand slowly falls away from Catra's face, Catra doesn't know how to feel about it. She sinks down to go back to sleep, or try to, anyway.

"Wait," Adora says, stopping her. Catra gives her a curious look. "Can I try something?" Her ears twitch.

"Sure?" Catra replies tentatively. "What are we doing?"

"Magic." Adora's eyes shine blue in the dark. Then they flutter closed, and she leans forward.

"For the honor of Grayskull."

Adora turns into an eight-foot tall, glowing goddess. 

Catra jumps back with a shriek. She scrambles away, clawing up the bedsheets on her way. Catra kicks her square in the face.

"Ow!" Adora reaches for her. "Wait- it's okay-" Catra hisses, and Adora stops.

Catra is _terrified_. She never looked scared of her before. Never when they were fighting on the opposite sides of a war. Not in the portal. Not even the first time she transformed in front of her, in Thaymor. She was still a childhood friend. Someone Catra was in love with, no matter how deep in denial they were.

And now, nothing. What a different way to hurt. Adora remembers when she had saved Catra, how she had to give her space in the aftermath. How hard it was.

She gets off the bed and steps back. Catra stops hissing, but her ears stay pressed flat against her head. Her tail thrashes behind her. Adora forces her hands down by her side.

"It's okay," she repeats. She kneels in front of Catra. Her glow fades away. "Let me help you. Please."

Catra's vibrant eyes widen with realization, then curiosity.

"It's still you," she whispers. Adora nods her head.

"Usually people just... trust She-Ra.” Even people who had never heard of her automatically saw her as a leader, or a protector. Then again, Catra always saw her differently than everyone else. "I'm sorry. I didn't think it would scare you."

Catra is easily startled, even if she tries not to show it. Adora had no reason to believe that She-Ra would be any different. Even if it hurts. At least Catra's moved from being outright scared to skeptical. A normal thing for her to feel, really.

"So, uhm, you were going to try some sort of... magic?" Adora stands on her feet again. She presses her knee onto the bed, and offers her hand to Catra.

"Is this okay?" she asks. Catra places a tentative hand in hers.

“... Yeah.” Once it's there, Adora holds her hand like she might fade away.

Catra blushes, thinking how she was scared of this only a minute ago. It's almost nice. Adora would like to pretend it's a regular night with the love of her life, in peaceful, dark silence.

She sighs and closes her eyes again. She's She-Ra; if something's wrong, she has to fix it. With that, light emanates from her body again. Healing comes naturally to her now. If Catra needs her, she can't think of anything else. Catra holds her breath when she feels the warmth spilling into her from where they touch. 

All residual pain from her injury flees at the flood of magic against her. Adora's brows furrow when she concentrates, and her lips are slightly parted. It must've been a face Catra had known for a lifetime. Catra wants to remember her so much, she almost believes she can.

When Adora's eyes open, Catra is held captive by the light in them. They stay like that, with Catra staring at her in awe.

"Catra?" she whispers, sweet and hopeful.

 _Oh_. Catra pulls herself away. Adora must've been someone who knew her well. Someone she cherished. The kind of person who would make her believe in soulmates. But that's all she knows. She slumps back against the pillows.

"I still don't remember anything."

Adora looks heartbroken. She wraps her arms around herself and bows her head down, trying not to look at Catra. She transforms back to normal with a flash. Just a regular person again. If anything, she looks even smaller than before. 

She-Ra should've fixed this, and she didn't. Adora knows she can't do it as herself.

"I'm sorry, Catra." 

Silence surrounds them. The weight on the mattress shifts as Catra scoots closer to her. Then she takes Adora's hand, willingly.

"Don't be."

* * *

Catra is the Royal Advisor to Queen Glimmer of Bright Moon. Adora is a princess, though she mostly acts as a diplomat to foreign planets. Glimmer and Bow are home, on Etheria, receiving a delegation from the planet of Halaxys. They’re on a journey to restore magic to the galaxy.

Adora keeps the explanations very standard. Factual. It’s already too much to think about. There is no need to put the burden of her love on Catra.

The morning is full of names that Catra has never heard of and events that might as well have never happened. And she’s supposed to know all of it. It’s both boring and stressful.

Catra frowns from where she sits, with her cheek nearly pressed to the window. One leg dangles off the side, while the other is pulled up to her chest.

“The planet we left yesterday was Numine,” Adora says. “According to Darla, it had intelligent life on it once, so we came to investigate it.”

“Oh.” Catra stares out towards the sea of stars, her languid tail rising and falling with the thrum of the ship’s engine. Adora sighs. Keeping all of this short doesn’t seem to be working. She almost wishes she were fighting her girlfriend again, instead of lecturing her.

“Usually I fix any damage done to the planet with the sword, when I turn into She-Ra-”

Catra whips her head around to Adora.

“She-Ra?” Her ears perk up. “Was that the magic from last night?" Now she has Catra's full attention.

"It is," Adora answers.

"Can you tell me about it?"

“She’s…” Adora picks at the hem of her sleeve. “She’s the guardian of Etheria. She’s strong. Probably the most powerful thing on the planet- or the universe.” Catra gives her a confused look.

“Why do you say it like that?”

“What?”

“ _You’re_ She-Ra, aren’t you?”

Adora’s only response is a bewildered look. “ _I am hardly worthy of the name. I’m not even a hero. She-Ra is someone I become when I have to_ ,” is not something she’s ever put into words for anyone but Catra. And Catra can’t handle that for her right now.

“Not always,” she answers when she recovers her wits. Catra’s gaze stays piercing at her. There is a quirk to her lips and a gleam in her eyes that tells Adora that her curiosity hasn’t been satisfied yet.

“W-we should go over the other… stuff. That you need to know,” Adora says. The more she tells Catra about herself, the more differently Catra sees her, and Adora doesn’t know what to think, how to feel about it.

“Sure,” Catra answers.

* * *

Etheria is always beautiful to see when they land. The sky makes Catra think of the way Adora radiated light as She-Ra, and the moons shine like her eyes, like they're all one and the same. Magic, truly.

"Welcome home," Adora says softly.

Catra turns to her and smiles, delighted wonder bare on her face. Adora is so _in love_ with her. Catra never just... shows what she feels like this. Adora takes her hand, because she can do that now. 

"Where are we going?" Catra asks, sweet and curious. Adora imagines, for a second, that they're six years old again, and Catra is putting blind trust in her, while she steers them aimlessly through the Fright Zone. Catra's protector, as always. Her heart aches.

"Bright Moon. Remember when I told you about Glimmer?" Catra nods.

"The queen."

"And our best friend," Adora says, squeezing her hand. "She'll be happy to see us."

Catra takes her time looking around. Bright Moon guards, vibrant gardens with pink flowers, pastel skies and stained glass windows, gold accents on every wall, the Moonstone. Everything Adora described checks out.

She keeps her eyes on the Moonstone. Adora just… Carries that power with her everywhere she walks. A million times that, actually. Catra is still trying to wrap her head around it. Adora stops when they’re in front of the doors to the throne room.

“I, uhm.” Catra turns her attention back to her. “I sent word to her- Glimmer- about you.” Adora rubs the back of her neck, her shoulders scrunching up. “But uh...”

“She doesn’t know I don’t remember anything,” Catra finishes. Adora takes her other hand and holds them in place.

“It’ll be okay,” she says, more to convince herself. If Catra’s being honest, Adora seems more strung up about it than she does herself. Then again, it’s not as if she’s completely aware of the situation, even if Adora tells her everything she knows.

Catra shrugs with a smile.

“Yeah. I know.”

She pushes the doors open and walks in before Adora can say or do anything else.

The room is silent. Catra freezes, and Adora does with her.

Queen Glimmer of Bright Moon. A strong leader, an incredible sorceress, brave, kind, stubborn. Their best friend. It feels wrong to be told so much about her, and still be starstruck just by the way she looks. She’s short, pink, and sparkly. Even her eyes are that soft color. Catra wasn’t sure what she was expecting. The silhouettes in her mind slowly fill with shape and color until it's overwhelmed. Is it going to be like this every time?

“You’re back!” Glimmer shouts, her voice rising with excitement. And then she disappears in a flash.

Catra’s heart stops. Both her and Adora are taken down by her weight as she’s suddenly across the room, tackling them. They hit the floor in a big pile.

“I missed you guys so much! You’ve got to tell me everything, me and Bow are so sorry we couldn't be there, but things were so busy in Bright Moon, he’ll be so happy you guys are back early!” The words get lost in the way the floor spins beneath her.

Glimmer gets off after her long rant and helps them up. Catra lets her. She brushes down her clothes, less to take out the wrinkles, and more to fill in the space where words would be.

"Hello, uh, Queen Glimmer," Catra says. Adora makes a nervous sound, and Catra looks between the two of them. Glimmer laughs.

" _Queen_ Glimmer? Very funny, Catra." She starts walking, rambling about Bow and motioning for them to follow her. They don’t. Adora’s mouth opens, and nothing smart comes out.

“Uhm-”

“Glimmer?” Catra says. Glimmer turns her head over her shoulder. “Adora sent a message to you. I was injured.” Glimmer fully stops, this time. “And I don’t remember anything.”

Glimmer’s eyes widen. The realization and then the terror dawns on her. Her heels tap frantically on the marble floor as she rushes over and takes Catra's hand. "Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm fine," Catra mumbles. "Adora healed me. It's just the memories." Glimmer turns to Adora with a distraught look.

"What happened to her!?" Adora flinches. Glimmer bites down on her lip. “I mean… I’m sorry.”

“I tried fixing it with She-Ra’s healing,” she explains. Glimmer sighs.

“We should tell Bow,” she suggests after a pause. “And then we’ll fix this, okay?” She turns a pointed glance to Adora. “ _Together_.” Adora makes a sheepish expression. She takes Catra’s other hand.

“We will.”

They go as a group this time, with Catra between the two of them. She knows very little about who she was, or how she came to know the people closest to her. But Catra feels like she’s never been alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my editors @BitSack and Soph/ KittyCatCatra on tumblr! The title is from Theseus by The Oh Hellos! I listened to it while doing a lot of the initial writing.
> 
> In comparing Catra and Vanya from the Umbrella Academy, I saw a lot of similarities. And then season 2 happened, and I thought...
> 
> Feel free to- actually, please I am begging you to point out spelling/ grammar errors/ staging inconsistencies/ awkward pacing. If you can. I would really appreciate it. I will love you forever.
> 
> There's no weekly schedule due to the constraints of Being Alive, but I'm considering posting updates to instagram- @demon_latte. Do me a favor and dm me if you actually follow me for that reason, or else I'll just assume nobody does hahaha
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
